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I'm a writer, a coach and a crazy dog person - not always in that order! I love nature, big open spaces, pizza and road trips. I'm designing the life I always wanted.

 

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Change is in your head

March 15, 2017

 

I read a quote this week that hit me:

 

"It takes courage to change your beliefs. Beliefs are so intertwined with the people around us; we are accepted or rejected based on our beliefs. Beliefs keep our private world in order. Change what you believe and you change your life." -- Danielle LaPorte

 

Oh, there is so much to unpack in this quote! I have no way of knowing exactly how DLP would break it down, but I'm going to do my own version.

 

"It takes courage to change your beliefs."

We all want to change, and many of us know it begins with the thoughts in our head, which means we also know it's easier said than done. What struck me here is the word, "courage." Changing our beliefs means changing how we see ourselves which means letting go of beliefs that have served us, potentially for many years. We set these based on our own insecurities, experiences and often what others say. Which leads me to ...

 

"Beliefs are so intertwined with the people around us; we are accepted or rejected based on our beliefs."

Intertwined indeed: we readily adopt what others believe about us (think parents, coaches, teachers, friends) as much as we align ourselves with those who share our beliefs (friends, social media, coaches ...). With our beliefs so knitted together with our friends, family, colleagues, and others, no wonder it takes courage to break away, risking being ostracized. Fear keeps us in check.

 

"Beliefs keep our private world in order."

So if we hang onto the beliefs that everyone in our tribe accepts, everything stays the way we expect - no surprises. Nice and predictable. It may not be the way we hope, but it is the way we are used to - no courage required.

 

"Change what you believe and you change your life."

So yes, it takes courage to break out of our own beliefs and create new ones. For a while, those new beliefs won't feel as believable, so we resist, or worse we give up and go back to what we know. But if we want it bad enough, we will double-down and replace old beliefs with new and improved ones. Change is an internal game that's worth winning.

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