It’s that time of year where we all promise to make life-altering changes, or, as some memes have captured, that time of year where we share with the world what we most hate about ourselves! Oy! Rough stuff!
I think the new year resolution stuff is great in theory - evaluating your life and the ways in which you want to improve Yes, we should all want to continue to evolve, preferably towards our higher self. But somewhere along the line, the pressure built and the self-hatred crept in. Not productive.
Real, lasting change is freaking hard. Whether it’s quitting soda, getting back into the gym or meditating daily, there’s a reason you want to make these shifts. And the road to getting there can be challenging, frustrating and lonely. And then we fail - even for a moment - and we beat ourselves up, or we are ashamed because others see our perceived shortcomings.
Which is all pretty much insane. And made up in that we created this all in our heads.
I think resolutions fail for two main reasons. First, we think we *should* change instead of really, deeply desiring to change. We know we *should* give up sugar, but really it’s just so tasty! It can be tough to admit that you really don’t want to make a change and realize that you often set yourself up to fail because your desire just isn’t there. The same goes for changing because other people think you *should.* Again, no personal, emotional desire. #fail
Secondly, the resolutions we make are too big and we can’t see the smaller milestones. “Lose 100 pounds” is an incredibly important and probably life saving thing to do, but it needs milestones, a real path to success.
As your looking at your goals for the year, make sure they:
• Are rooted in your deep emotional desires. For real.
• Have actionable steps and milestones for celebration.
• Are supported by friends, family or coaches (not everyone will support your change which is totally fine!).
• Stem from self-kindness and compassion vs. self-hatred and judgment.
Not sure if your goals stack up? Try this: Imagine yourself at the end of this year. Imagine that you have accomplished your goal. Breathe that in for a minute. How does that FEEL? Really let yourself FEEL your accomplishment. These awesome feelings should be all about you - none of that, “HA! She can bite me!” crap. Real, lasting change will light you up. Don’t you want to feel that way??
Stand up for your desires and respect yourself enough to go for it!